Kobun Heat
Member
"Okay, dial 9, then 1, then... man, trying to make an international phone call is like trying to play one of my RPGs. Wait, wait, I think I got it."
"Hello, Kawazu-kun."
"Hello, Reggie-sempai. I can't believe it's been a month since our last check-in call. It's so important that we all keep up to speed on this important partnership."
"It's true. I can't think of anything more important to us right now than our plan to not release any Square Enix titles on Virtual Console in America."
"Now, as you know, we've had great success by not releasing Chrono Trigger or Secret of Mana. Not releasing these games has resulted in millions of people who have not been able to play them."
"Yes, yes, we can all agree that it has had a great impact so far. But what's next? We've got to go even bigger than before."
"Well, I had my team really think about this, and we think we've come up with an even more amazing list of games to not release. You remember the Final Fantasy ports for the Game Boy Advance?"
"Yes, those were fantastic. You don't mean..."
"Oh, I do mean. Get a load of this: We're not going to release those, either."
"That is brilliant. After we didn't release any of the NES or Super Nintendo games, surely people started wondering if we were tapped out, if we'd drained the well, if we'd checked all the boxes and had run out of games to not release."
"We'll show them! But of course, we must think about the future. Wii U owners have a whole 2016 to look forward to full of games that we don't release. We've got to figure out a way to keep surprising them with new and profound feelings of disappointment."
"I know you'll do it. I've played your games."
