Goddamn man i'll never look at you and your avatar the same again :O
Mother of god....
What the fuck, bro. I kept turning around as I was listening to this to see if anyone was going to stab me.
I salute you.
Is it normal for couples to change sheets after sex? If so i'm probably disgusting.
I should show my girlfriend this thread. She thinks I am crazy for laying down the "sex blanket" on my bed before we get it on. I only have one set of sheets right now; I can't be doing laundry 4 times a week!
Post of the day, give this man a medal.
Been thinking about sex all day and I got to thinking.. I wonder how other people initiate/end sex? You can only ever see what you do right? How do you change the mood from hanging out to horny? How do you get her to the point where she opens up and lets you dive in? At what point does he get turned on by you enough and decide to lay you down? And at the end how do y'all keep your stuff clean?
I know it shouldn't be the identical all the time but everyone has patterns that work. Here's my routine
Ignoring whats happened in the past couple minutes or hours or whatever, whenever I want to change the mood I begin to take long pauses in between her comments and questions. In between comments so she wonders what I'm thinking and in between questions so she starts to make more eye contact while waiting for a response.
I'll be sure to strengthen bass in my voice a bit more than usual, and I'll slow down my responses a bit..it feels like the rumble of bass echoes into her.
I'll start to speak more forcefully, personally, and interact more directly. For example, should she ask, "you know what I wanted earlier today?" my response isn't, "what?" My response is (remembering to pause for 1/2 - 1.5 seconds) "tell me what you wanted" with direct eye contact and stroking the bass.
Once I notice that she is having trouble continuing normal conversations (not stuttering, but its clear that I'm inside her mind is she is thinking about it-this is plain and obvious) I'll figure out some compliment to bring her my way. "Is that the perfume you bought last week? Come here....gud smel... wow...such scent. "
/touching /kissing /eye contact /seduction
Put on music and I always dive in first. only because women take so much more more to get ready. Theres no routine during however.
I'm really curious about the end. I always have some sort of improvised cumrag around for when I'm ready. I haven't been lucky enough to be with many women who want it on their body, but I've also been lucky enough to be in longer relationships so I always came inside. but it has to come back out and I hate it on my bed. So I just put her on a towel I had nearby or t shirt or blanket or whatever and let it drip onto that. What do other people do? I feel like its weird to do what I do here. You all just let it flow out and then change your sheets? still stains the mattress that way..
this all goes out the window after 7 shots sadly
How do you put in work?
Can somebody please do a dramatic reading of this
Jesus. So ...glad (?) I came back into the thread.
This is pretty awesome. well done
Wow! whole new level of creepy.
And what is that music?
hahahahaha holy. shit. im in tears right now
I cracked up laughing multiple times. I love how you read the parts in parentheses quickly as a side-thought.
Holy shit :lol
You just want an avatar quote.
Open up laptop and masturbate. I always do it many times in the mornings and evenings. Usually I do it multiple times a go: at least twice. I have been doing this everyday minus rare exceptions when I'm at vacations or not in a very bad mood. I hate being a virgin.
Best thing this forum's produced in 2013.
Fuckin dead. Lmao
I got shivers...
Holy shit I'm dying :lol what is that music? Lmfao. This sounds like something from Saw or some shit.
HAHAHAHAHAH that music is 2spooky
Goddamn. The creepiness of your voice and the music is perfect for the OP. 10/10 would wtf again.
Oh... My God.
Holy shit that's too good. So creepy.
Just wanted to salute you, because this deserves to be on the first page. God damn.
I'm dying here. Sooo good.
OP needs to be read with an Alan Partridge voice LOL