Originally Posted by Ultramantaro1
Another day another ghost. Wish I could get used to it, but it always stings a little after what seems like a very successful date.
I'll address this on as it's a super common issue that repeatedly came up on OT6, This is not specifically directed at you Ultramantaro1 but a general observation.
Many guys think they have has a successful first date and then get ghosted, they'll even say things like they felt they had "chemistry" with the girl and even at the end of the date she said she would like to do it again. So what's up with the ghosting in this situation?
Well, you need to look at why you are saying is was "Successful". So she actually arrived, conversation didn't dry up, she laughed at your jokes, took interest in your stories, you did not vomit over her dress and you didn't waste $6 on parking.
That is just the baseline of a date. Congratulations, you know how to do the right thing on a date. However you can't call it successful until she actually decides she wants a second date with you and follows through. Sure she'll be polite when you're saying goodbyes, "She had a good time" or "Let's do it again" but at that point she's only being polite. For example I've been drinking with guys and at the end of the night we agree to "Do it again" but honestly unless that guy is proactive I could not care less and 99% of the time we never call each other again for a beer. It's just the socially polite thing to say.
You should look at dating from a woman's point of view. She will have so many guys trying to date her, all the time. with online dating her matches and messages will be too many to ever manage. She does not need to settle for just a good date where nothing goes wrong. What will get her attention is an actual personal and emotional connection, what she feels and not what you think just because you had a good baseline date.
Just keep doing what you are doing, if your consistently not getting second dates you'll need to look at yourself and see where you need to change and improve.
Don't let ghosting get you down.