Originally Posted by Sheentak
I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay!
This message is not okay to send. Ask yourself honestly: are you cool? Would you date yourself? The simple ingredients to attraction are confidence, humor, and looks.
Often confidence is just a lack of self consciousness. Do you equivocate? Are you self effacing? Are you not sure of yourself? True confidence can't be faked either. When you're not confident, you can't just layer something over that because it'll be transparent and you just look cocky. It's also easier to be confident in yourself when you actually have things to be confident in. Maybe this is a career or a talent. Fill in the blanks here.
I said humor, but more generally I mean charm. Jokes go here. If you're not naturally jocular, this is hard to learn. But you can also compensate a lack of jokes with other endearing behaviors. Make someone feel special; even if you have to fake it, be interested in who someone is. Acknowledge their challenges. Small amounts of flattery are wonderful, but don't over do it and end up looking impotent and servile instead. Smile.
Don't just dress well. Signal who you are by how you dress. Value and in-group signalling is extremely important in our culture, and if you try to date out of your in-group, you'll just have a bad time anyway.
So work on all this stuff and don't be a eunuch by asking wimpy questions to girls like that.